I don’t need no rejuvenation

I’ve finally started watching the first season of Californication – the Showtime series where Hank Moody (David Duchovny) fucks any pretty woman that crosses his path from the 16-year-old in the book store (he didn’t know she was 16) to the anal porn star in the car next to his at a red light.

Only three episodes in and I’m a little disturbed by the few women who have disrobed in front of Hank and asked him his honest opinion of their naked body. While I understand their insecurities – every woman has them (as do men as well), I was completely repulsed by the porn star mother.

First, asking a random guy’s opinion of your body before you have sex with him is a turn off. He’s there, he’s not about to leave as soon as he sees you naked. While everyone wants to fuck a perfect body, everyone knows full well we all have flaws. She first asks him his opinion of her breasts. They’re real, they sag a bit – but we learn she’s the mother of a baby girl, so it’s expected. Still, by all accounts, they are fine. And Hank says so. Then she asks about her lips. Not the ones on her face. She mentions she’s considering vaginal rejuvenation. Having barely seen them yet, Hank insists they look fine. And then he doesn’t get to see them because as soon as he hears the baby crying in the next room, he makes a hasty exit.

I was completely disgusted by this scene. The blond was pretty enough but as she asked this total stranger for his opinion she became repulsive. Nasty.

Then today, I was scrolling through the Globe and Mail site and found this: Designer vaginas by Jill Mahoney. The article is five years old and was re-posted last year but recently in the top 10 most viewed Life stories. I suppose with the advancement of medical technology there is little plastic surgery can’t do to enhance our appearance cosmetically. But the question around plastic surgery is always: just because we can, should we?

Never having had a perfect body, but always been considered pretty/beautiful/hot/thin/too skinny (plus modeling for seven years), I’m all too aware of the insecurities surrounding body image. Not too mention, I gave birth four years ago – the biggest change to my body ever. Before and after birth I’ve considered implants. However, it’s not a priority. It’s more of a “one day I will” thing. Anyway, I want to get laser eye surgery first – far more practical and important than perfect breasts. Vaginal rejuvenation? I can’t say I’d ever drop the cash for that.

While there seems to be minimal risks – the reason for rejuvenation is purely for better sex for both men and women. A recent Journal of Sexual Medicine study reported that the surgeries weren’t performed to correct abnormalities but to modify vaginas and vulvas to enhance sexual experience. While better sex is always, well, better, I’m reluctant to mess with what I was born with. Plus, I have no complaints when it comes to sex. Sure, I know I’m not the best, but surgery as a way to improve? I’d rather go with more experience. I’d rather improve my overall health through exercise and healthy eating as a way to have better sex. No amount of exercise is going to change my eye sight or the shape of my breasts. Experience, stamina and a healthy body type can never hurt your sex life. Plus it’s good for you overall.

Now, if I just wasn’t so lazy…